


you’ll always find your way (back home)

by lumaxies



Series: Mount Rushmore or Less! [1]
Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: 3x13 wrecked me so we!, Other, rated t for tj kippen deserves to say fuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-07 16:05:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17963729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lumaxies/pseuds/lumaxies
Summary: T.J. bites his lip, and wills himself not to start crying. His desire goes unmet, and soon, hot tears are running down his cheeks. “Amber, I fucked up. I fucked up so bad.”





	you’ll always find your way (back home)

**Author's Note:**

> part one of how the fuck i’m coping i guess (hint: i’m not)! anyways i love amber and tj they really invented sibling excellence so i’m putting this into the universe with the plans of doing something cyrus-centric about this ep next! wish i didn’t have the attention span of a goldfish.

T.J. stumbled through his front door, slightly out of breath, and ready to cry. His day had been beyond shitty, and he was so ready to just collapse onto his bed and play Lorde for the next twelve hours, on repeat. He drops his backpack as soon as he’s crossed the threshold, and Amber, who is seated on the couch, doing homework, jumps. She looks over at him with annoyance, but her face falls when her eyes meet his.

 

“T.J.?” She asks with worry, rising from her seat. “Are you okay?”

 

“No,” T.J. bites his lip, and wills himself not to start crying. His desire goes unmet, and soon, hot tears are running down his cheeks. “Amber, I fucked up. I fucked up so bad.”

 

“Hey, hey, hey,” She’s next to him a second later, wrapping her arms around him, and guiding him to the couch. He sobs into her shoulder, and she hugs him tighter, running her hand across his back comfortingly. “It’s okay. It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

 

T.J. cries and cries, for God knows how long. Amber rocks him gently, and shushes him, the way his mom used to do when he was little, and sick. When the tears have finally stopped, and his sobbing has reduced to hiccups, Amber pulls away from him gently, and smooths his hair down.

 

“Are you ready to talk about it?”

 

T.J. swallows. “It was costume day today.”

 

“I know,” Amber rolls her eyes. “You’ve been talking about it non-stop since Metcalf announced it. I do listen to you.”

 

“I was supposed to go with Cyrus.”

 

“I know that, too.” Amber smiles sadly at him, the implication of his words settled. “But you didn’t?”

 

“No,” His voice cracks, and he begins to cry again, rubbing fiercely at his eyes with the heels of his hands. “I couldn’t! I-“

 

“T.J.,” Amber grabs his wrists gently, and pulls his hands from his face. “Teej, it’s okay.”

 

“It’s not!” He wails. “Kira, she-“

 

“Did she say something to you?” Amber’s demeanor becomes hostile, her eyes narrowing, and her eyebrows raising. “I’ll kill her.”

 

“She asked me if I really wanted to do a costume with Cyrus instead of her.” T.J. shakes his head, squeezing his eyes shut, and digging his nails into his thighs. “But it was the way she said it, like…”

 

“Like she meant something bigger.” Amber nods.

 

“Kira is nice enough. And she’s pretty, and we both like basketball and history. I should want to do a couples costume with her.”

 

“But you don’t.” Amber says pointedly.

 

“Any of the guys on the team-“

 

“Who gives a shit what they think?” Amber looks at him, confused. She reaches for his hands, pulling them from his sides, and wrapping them in hers. “This isn’t about them. What’s going on T.J.?”

 

“Everybody thinks I’m this loveless asshole at school,” T.J. croaks out. “I’m a jock, I suck at math, I barely have any friends. I have this...reputation.”

 

“And?”

 

“And if everybody found out…” He sounds absolutely heartbroken, he’s sure. He _ feels  _ absolutely heartbroken. The look on Cyrus’ face when he’d walked away from him had torn him to pieces. This whole thing has been eating him up inside. And he didn’t even want to think about how Cyrus is feeling. He wishes that he wasn’t such a coward, wishes that he was able to love like Cyrus was, so free and openly. “They would look at me different.”

 

“If they found out what?”

 

“That I’m…” T.J. hesitates. “Gay. That I like Cyrus. Like, more than a friend.”

 

“Oh, T.J.” Amber melts, and pulls him into her side again. “I’m so proud of you.”

 

“You shouldn’t be,” T.J. sniffles. “I hurt him, Amber. I really hurt him.” 

 

And then he’s crying again, snot-nosed, ugly crying into Amber’s shoulder, and she holds him, even though he can feel her grimace from where her head rests on his. 

 

“What do I do?” He whispers to her through his tears. She sighs against him.

 

“Honestly?” Amber hesitates a little, and tilts her head, like she’s weighing the options in her mind. “I think that you should tell him.”

 

“I can’t!” T.J. protests immediately. “Amber, I can’t.”

 

“I’m not going to make you,” She reassures him, continuing matter-of-factly. “But I think you do need to think about it. What’s more important to you? Cyrus, or those people at school who just think they know you?”

 

She reaches for T.J.’s hand again. “I’ve seen the way you act around him, T.J.” Her voice is soft, softer than he’s ever heard it before. “I’ve never seen love radiate off of someone like it does when you’re with him. You can feel it.”

 

“What if he hates me?”

 

“You have to decide if that’s a risk you’re willing to take.” Amber shrugs, and rustles his hair. He makes an indignant noise, working his fingers through it fruitlessly. “And, hey. For what it’s worth? You’re gonna have me, no matter what happens.”

 

“Really?” T.J. whines, poking at her side. It feels good to be able to pretend that everything is normal- to pick on his sister, and pretend like he hasn’t spent the last hour crying on her. “Is there an exchange program or something? A trade-in center?”

 

“Shut up, dickweed.”She smacks his arm gracelessly, and shoves his head away from her. “God, you’re such a buttface.”

 

He laughs a little, leaning right back into her. “I love you, Ambs.”

 

“I love you, too.” She says genuinely, before shoving him off the couch. “Now, get away from me before I catch one of your several diseases.”

 

T.J. grins, scooping up his backpack, and heading toward the stairs. He stops by the couch for just a moment, leaning forward and licking Amber’s cheek, before dashing up the stairs. 

 

“Guh-ross, T.J.!” She screams, and T.J. hears her textbook fall from her lap, as she races up the stairs behind him. “I’m gonna kill you, you absolute meathead!”

 

**Author's Note:**

> as always sending my love to block list and to madi! follow me on twitter @mcboings!


End file.
